(500) Days of Summer (2009)
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
10,000.BC.(2008)
1408.(2007)
2012 (2009)
21.(2008)
300 (2007)
50 First Dates (2004)
99 (2009)
A Simple Plan
A.Scanner.Darkly.(2006)
Adam.(2009)
Adventureland.(2009)
Aliens Vs Predator – Requiem.(2007)
Almost.Famous.(2000)
Armageddon (1998)
Asterix & The Vikings (2006)
Avatar TS (2009)
Babel (2006)
Bachelor.Party.(1984)
Bad Lieutenant (2009)
Batman – Gotham Knight (2008)
Batman.Begins.(2005)
Be.Kind.Rewind.(2008)
Big Fish (2003)
Big.Nothing.(2006)
Blade Runner – Director’s Cut (1982)
Blast from the Past (1999)
Blood Diamond (2006) Disc 1
Blood Diamond (2006) Disc 2
Blow (2001)
Body of Lies (2008)
Boiler Room (2000)
Bollywood – Hollywood (2002)
Braveheart (1995) Disc 1
Braveheart (1995) Disc 2
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)
Bride Wars (2009)
Burn.After.Reading.(2008)
Cassandra’s.Dream.(2007)
Catch Me If You Can
Catch-22 (1970)
Chaos (2005)
Chaos.Theory.(2007)
Charlie Chaplin – Modern Times
Charlie.Bartlett.(2008)
Chris.Rock.Kill.The.Messenger.(2008)
City Island (2009)

It’s been ages since I posted a public post. Over the last few months, I’ve had so much to write but only little time to put it in here. I’ve somehow managed to vent out and let out the feelings and emotions of all that has transpired in the Private posts. This blog was meant to be a dynamic place, with posts contains bits of information on my life, as well as helpful Tech tips that would help make people’s lives easier. But it hasn’t achieved it’s true purpose yet, and I guess it never will.

When so much time goes by, and so many intense moments swift through your life, it’s hard not to talk about personal stuff. But, I, being this intensely private person by nature (and against the purpose of this blog) will have to leave out much of the excitement and thrill when I write public posts. That simply kills my joy, because I love to write. It helps. I never intended this to be a medium for me to reach out to the world, but rather, I wanted this to be a tool for me to discover myself. I’ve found things about myself that are simply astonishing. The blog was looking quite stale, so I added the “Private Posts” widget to help you see the otherwise unseen activity.

I think I’ve solved a lot of my own doubts – mainly about what my true nature is, and in which direction I need to move to get somewhere meaningful. It’s been the simple things in life that helped me realize these things – A smile from a friend, a smile from a stranger, a confused look from an acquaintance. Their facial expressions have been quite meaningful to me.

The one thing I’m absolutely happy to find is that I’m self-sufficient. That doesn’t mean I don’t need loved ones around me. It’s just that I can do fine all alone. Initially, I felt as if I was experiencing some kind of withdrawal, and that it was a bad thing. But then I decided to take it further and test to see how much I needed any other individuals help to work things out. I’m usually constantly in touch with someone or the other. I need the human connection. Over the last few weeks, I was happy to find that I wasn’t addicted to it. I didn’t need it.

You can only have peace (in any form) if you recluse yourself and be alone. Try it sometime.
The other thing I realized is that I’m incredibly helpful. I mean, I’ve gone out of my way to do things for people. I’ve been extremely good, and I’m not boasting here. I’ve never expected anything in return, probably because that initiates the uneasy give/take cycle, and eventually destroys any relationship. Quite often, I haven’t got anything in return. I’ve also gone one step ahead and tried to assure people that their work has not been cumbersome for me so that they didn’t feel guilty of burdening me. It’s worked out well. But sooner or later, you begin to feel as if the relationship is wearing you out; in some cases, sucking the life-stream out of you. That’s when its absolutely necessary to say “No”, or “Hell, no!”, depending on the situation.

I started helping people out with stuff as a way to explore my limits, to test my knowledge, know of my abilities and shortcomings, to check my productivity level. I wanted to keep myself from falling into a dark warp hole that I’ve seen so many people fall into. If you take my work out of my schedule, you have the perfect example of a couch-potato. If keep that work off my schedule, and you’ll have a TV-addicted couch-potato. Which is not cool. But this extra work I’ve been taking on has been doing more bad than good. I’ve lost sleep and I’ve lagged behind on some of my personal pet-projects – a desktop app linked to a web app, and a Facebook app. They’ll hit the world next year I guess (and I’m not just blabbering crap). I make it a point to get things done, and that too, on time. For now, I’m cutting myself off and streamlining my schedule.

All this is happening in good time since I have exams coming up. It gives me the perfect reason to say, “Hell no!”, without hurting feelings. For the next few weeks, my cellphone is going to be unavailable (with far fewer exceptions on my call-blocking list than ever before), and I’ll be drifting farther away from the relationships I’ve worked so hard on maintaining. Who knows when I’ll come back. Who knows if I’ll ever be the same again. Who gets to stay, who has to go? Who knows!

I like where I am in life. I like this moment. I’m away from the people who talk loudly about their sad, depressing lives. I’m away from the happy people who scream about their momentary bliss over rooftops. I’m here in this reality filtering out Significant from the Insignificant.

The plates begin to shift. Perfect lefts come rolling in.
I was alone and far away. When I heard the band start playing.
On a lip, late take off.

Feel like resonance of distance. In the blood the iron lies.

It’s instilled to want to live.
Bombs dropping down. Please forget our home-town in our insignificance.
Oh, in our insignificance, oh.

This post is not about learning to be selfish, but rather about learning to care about yourself; save yourself from experiencing a burn-out. It’s not about re-evaluating old relationships and cutting off ties, but rather maintaining them in a less stressful way. If you believe that it’s your loved ones who have the power to hurt you the most, you better train yourself to stand alone; pick yourself up when you’re down. Relationships that work aren’t a full-duplex give/take act. Half-duplex. They have one giver, and one taker. The giver needs to learn to be independent. The taker needs to learn to be caring. The taker, sadly, never learns to be caring since the giver pretends as if he’s happy to help out. The giver takes pride in being responsible for maintaining the relationship, while the taker refuses to acknowledge the contributions of the giver. Somewhere down the line, there’s a heated argument and a incomprehensible process that has no end.

Life on the internets has changed quite a bit. We’ve grown out of having our private little boxes (e-mail inboxes) and moved on to Blogs, Twittering and of course – using social communities. There was a time when people used to be afraid of giving out personal information to strangers, but now that has changed. Although the intensely private individuals continue to guard their private lives, the general online population has moved to disclosing information about themselves to their large circle of friends, and even to “friends of friends”. A “friend” online is a general term for a close friend, a casual acquaintance, someone you barely know, someone you’ve just met, or someone you don’t even know but share similar interests with. If you take a step back and look at the situation, you may find that you’re doing something senseless.

I wonder what makes us fill our social community profiles. About me, Favourite Movies, Music, TV shows, personal stuff like our likes and dislikes, whether we drink or smoke. Not all of us fill these forms out with complete honesty, but its interesting to note that people find time and pay attention to what information they’re entering. What makes us fill out “five things I cant live without” on Orkut? I think people really put in a lot of thought in stating these details. I’ve read some of the lamest details in the “About me” section on Orkut. That section never fails to bring out a ” ” People try to use wit, imagination, and a lot of times – they try to use lyrics, poetry (personal/off the internet). If “About me” is supposed to be a window to your soul, having the lyrics to some cheesy love song in this section isn’t a great idea.

Each day when I log into my FB account, I find my friends try to voice their opinions, their choices, their likes and dislikes into my NewsFeed.

Gautam Deshpande — Finally got a new greg iles book to read yippieeeeeeeee. my fav author . .blood memory . I AM ECSTATIC. 12 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Personal profiles are still fine. But what’s with the quizzes on Facebook?. You practically choose your results in most quizzes. I guess people find the process of sharing and comparing quiz results exciting. My FB homepage is filled everyday by quiz results. “Which superhero are you?”, “Are you a complete douche-bag?”.

If you analyse it, at a very basic level, what’s happening is that we’re trying to surround ourselves by people who have beliefs similar to our own. Just like in the olden days, when we had communities with similar beliefs and anyone who didn’t fit in was cast out of the village, the fundamental tribal nature still exists in us. An intensely religious person won’t be able to stand an Atheist on his list, and as each one of them try to publish their respective point of views trying to enforce change, there’s either going to be a conflict or they’ll shun each other. Propaganda wars!. We may have become more tolerant now, but the basics remain the same — Change anyone around you who doesn’t believe in what you do. If they refuse to change, take them off your friends list or set privacy settings against them. “Hide them”

I think the movies and TV shows have a bit to contribute to this behaviour too. Soon we’ll have relationships based on “likes” and “dislikes” in online profiles (info that is generally made up). But that isn’t too far away from what happens in reality. As Gregory House once said, some of the best relationships are based on lies. I’m not sure if the internet is the best way to meet someone as everyone has formed their own opinion on whether you can lie online and get away with it.

These FB quizzes can also be hurtful. I took the  “closest friends” quiz a few days back, and it returned results that wouldn’t have gone well with a few folks. Apparently, the quiz uses an “advanced computer algorithm” to calculate your closest friends, and that’s obviously a load of crap!. I chose not to publish it because I believe it would’ve been quite hurtful had I done so.

I don’t deny being part of the whole situation. I’ve put in considerable thought while filling out my online profile. I take random FB quizzes in my free time. And I like it when results are in my favour although I know I wasn’t 100 percent honest when taking the quiz. I “generated” most results myself. It’s hard to be honest in both worlds.

Modern multi-tasking women

Debate: Are modern day relationships giving men excuses to escape from responsibilities?  (Copyright © Helium, Inc.)

One user says Yes, and writes,

I appreciate and respect the women of our past who risked so much for woman’s rights and equality. Society has come so far that women are now earning as much; if not surpassing a man’s income. Women today no longer have to tolerate or be “stuck” in an abusive relationship. We are liberated and have the means to make it on our own. For this, I am truly grateful. However; society has come so far just to have women be disrespected by males in a whole other form. We’ve gained a lot of liberties; but have also lost the appeal of what it meant to be a women in the first place. The compassion, the “motherly” figure the intuitive side. There is not a role definition anymore.

Today’s woman is expected to not only take care of the household (which by the way is a full time job in and of itself), work outside the home full-time, and still find the time and energy to look beautiful. It is so exhausting. I miss the “little” things. I’m sure I am not alone in my opinion. I miss men opening doors for me, or giving up their seat on the bus, or helping me carry heavy items into the car. These days are long gone. You still find that in the older generation of men, but not the younger ones.

I see the frustration in my father’s eyes when he will come over to help me with “handy-man” things around the home. Of course he has always wanted the best for me; and he is having a difficult time comprehending the change in society and gender roles. He comes from a time where men took care of their women. They were the bread winners and they tended to the lawn work and general upkeep of the home while the woman’s role was to cook and clean and take care of the children. Women were never supposed to learn how to fix small engines or change a toilet!

Gender roles do not exist today. Women have to work outside the home full-time as do men just to pay for the huge mortgage and feed and clothe the family. Society no longer offers the luxury of a parent staying at home to raise a family. I feel as though the younger generation of men take advantage of a woman’s independence. Well, our work is certainly not appreciated by them anyway. It is more of an expectation. Sometimes I feel as though it is their way of telling us “you wanted equality, well, now you have it.” Unfortunately, it is not equal. Before Women’s Suffrage, men never had to do EVERYTHING, so why are women expected to now? Work first, and then if there is time, you can “play”. I am a little jealous when my significant other so freely makes the time to do the things he enjoys such as fishing (guilt-free) when there is work around the home that needs to be done.

When I say younger men, I am speaking of Generation Y’ers primarily, who were raised with the mentality of work smarter, not harder. Or, “I’ll just pay someone to do that”. In addition, their fathers (if around) were too busy working to put food on the table to spend quality educational time with them. They spent most of their childhood with their mothers. So, they learned things such as cooking and cleaning. Or, their mothers babied them and didn’t make them responsible for anything. More men today are taking on different “traditional women” responsibilities around the home; but it still has a long way to go before we are truly “equal”. Also, with the technological boom; skilled trades such as electricians and plumbers (traditionally “male roles”), have been replaced with IT specialists and administrative workers. What scares me about the future is who is going to be around in the upcoming generations to fix things? Will robots be replacing humans sooner than later?

Another user disagrees and says,

“HELL to the NO”, as my younger co-workers would say. Modern day relationships are NOT giving men excuses to escape from responsibilities. It would in fact seem that there are nothing BUT responsibilities for men in modern day relationships. Unless you’re what is known as a PUA (Pick-Up Artist), once you enter into a relationship you are…

A) The Concierge. Pick out the entertainment-after ensuring it suits her. While it would be great for women to suggest a date (and/or pay for it), it’s mostly unheard of.

B) The Chauffeur. To their credit, some women will meet you half-way with the driving in a relationship. I can see this trend unfortunately declining as gas prices increase.

C) The Bodyguard. At any sign of trouble, it is the unwritten law that the man in the relationship will spring into action and crush, kill, destroy, maim, cripple, snap, immolate and/or vaporize any and all threats. As this is a genetic impulse, ‘responsibility’ doesn’t really apply. It can even be a thrill, and an opportunity to display strength, courage and machismo. Provided you don’t end up dead. This is actually only a problem in relationships where the woman likes to start fights in order to see ‘her hero’ in action.

D) The Banker/Loan Officer/Human ATM, unless you’re one of those lucky guys who have found a ’sugar mama’. While ’sugar mamas’ seem like dreams come true, they actually deplete a man’s self-esteem and personal power over time. The best relationships are when both partners share their resources for the good of the relationship. Some women are stepping to the plate and contributing, but the majority still believe that sex is the only contribution they need to make.

These four responsibilities are necessary in the ‘courting’ stages of a relationship. Should the relationship proceed further, into cohabitation or marriage, add the following:

E) The Laborer. The yard, the trash, the plumbing, the electrical work, the major repairs and heavy lifting are left to the man. While women may cook and clean-with the latter bordering on an obsession complex-they will wisely draw the line at any labour that may break either nails or backs. No harm, no foul, except when the ‘honey-do’ list comes into existence and they add more work than necessary.

F) The Breadwinner. Goes without saying. Economic necessity may stipulate that a woman can, should, or must bring in an income in order to maintain the household, but they can opt out via pregnancy & motherhood. Men cannot. They can try, but will find themselves out on the tiles before too long.

I personally find the title of this particular debate ludicrous. With the majority of divorces being initiated by women, shouldn’t the debate be titled “Are modern day relationships giving women excuses to escape from responsibilities”? I would also say that men don’t have excuses to escape from responsibilities (there will always be responsibilities, even if only to oneself), they have reasons to opt out of them altogether. Various groups like MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and Men’s Rights Groups are showing that an underreported but significant sexual sea change is underway.

It’s interesting, isn’t it? I mean, we all know how deceiving most men can be. Men can be dumb and useless too. But just imagine what if Men have been intelligent throughout the years in the most devious way possible. What if we make an immense effort since childhood to train ourselves to be useless. We ensure society has absolutely no expectations from us to do household chores, because we are simply too clumsy, unhygienic and dangerous for that kind of task. What if every effort that we’ve made to help out around the household has been a miserable failure for a reason. What if the first one of us, “Adam“, ensured that the genes he passed on had certain qualities that allowed future generation of men to appear useless. Lesser expectation. Lesser work. You can’t expect the man of the house to cook edible food and look after your children everyday. Once in a while, he could help out, but on a daily basis that would be a hazardous situation. It’s just not going to work out. You may try it out for a few weeks, but sooner or later a disaster is bound to occur.

It’s no secret that married men have lied to their wives saying they’ve got to do overtime, and in reality spend time with their buddies. In the modern world, men somehow find time to do the things they love, whereas women are left complaining about all the things they wanted to do but couldn’t – because of their responsibilities.

The average Indian family now has the man and his wife working, and the children are taken care of by the grandparents. That’s an unfortunate trend according to me considering the environment the child will be brought up in, but most of the time they don’t have a choice. The cost of living  requires both parents to have a job. But in terms of responsibilities, men continue to have the same responsiblities they did a decade ago, whereas women, thanks to the women’s liberalization movements, have to manage things at work as well as the household. They probably do both things brilliantly, without letting them interfere with each other. But men continue to have the same amount of free time, whereas working women seem like they’re a bottled up volcano’s waiting to explode because of the stress they’re under. Men can and should offer to do more chores, but thanks to Adam, we genuinely suck at it. Hence, sadly, the sofa continues to remain our throne and the TV remote our staff.

Have we men really found the secret to happiness in some weird sense? Do we manage to get away with a lot more free time than our counterparts? Isn’t it great to be a man?

Sucky day.

The DB I deleted weeks ago was finally deleted today. Good thing, right? Nope. There’s a twist.

I had executed a DROP DATABASE a few weeks ago, and one of the interfaces provided by my webhost to create new databases didn’t allow to create a database with the same name as the one I had deleted. So I tried creating the DB using phpMyAdmin, and it worked. I updated the website, wrote new articles and everything was awesome. Until today, when suddenly, my DB disappeared.

All data. All articles. Gone.

But I had done something smart. Unknowingly, yes, but it was a smart thing to do. This blog has a separate DB from my website DB. So while the website was down, my precious Journal posts remained unharmed.

Now the main website has a fresh new DB in sync with me  offline DB, so some new settings and posts have been lost. But everything else is fine.

Had a nice outing in the evening. Went shopping with Odille. Although a lot of times, shopping feels like a wasteful exercise, I can totally understand why women love it so much. For us men, thank God they have places to sit in the ladies section of the stores.

Later at night I got the news that we had our admissions tomorrow. I had made up my mind to take a break and relax tomorrow. I can’t express how disappointing it is to see all your plans for the near future turn to dust because the Universe feels like turning up the heat on you.

Ugh.