Space: The final frontier
Space -noun: Freedom or opportunity to express oneself, resolve a personal difficulty, be alone, etc.; allowance, understanding, or non-interference: e.g. Right now, you can help by giving me some space.
I’ve managed to piss off more people in the past few weeks than ever before. And it pleases me. I’m celebrating my solitude. The last few weeks have been absolutely wonderful, especially with Bro here. Family time. I think we all got a feeling that we were experiencing some ‘real family time’ this time. Things had never been so much fun with family in the recent past. Amazing thing is, we did nothing. Like lazy afternoons fleeting away quickly, the last few weeks have been very relaxing. I put off projects, got rid of my Internet routine, disconnected myself from the world almost completely, and just paid attention to what was around me.
I think it’s greatly important to take such pauses in life. Re-evaluate.
I started disconnecting myself from the Internet and the Cellphone long before Bro arrived. At first, I was afraid it would harm some of my ties with people. Then it just felt great. Complete relaxation. I had the perfect amount of sometimes much needed external intrusion in the form of a lovely friend. It’s weird how I could just disappear and reappear without changing anything. It’s not my talent; kudos to this person for putting up with my non-sense. My much needed non-sense. A few weeks into my period of solitude, I was afraid some ties might break, but I felt that if this person can put up with me, my close friends shouldn’t have a problem. There wasn’t much going on that would allow me to call up people and talk to them either. There just wasn’t anything to talk about at my end. Not too much has changed in my life since the beginning of this year, apart from the inclusion of some very interesting characters.
But my unsociable behaviour has drawn not just anger and disappointment from others. It’s helped me earn a lot of laughs too. Some people find the reclusive aspect of my nature funny, while certain others seem to relate to it. I don’t think I’m anti-social; I’m just reclusive. A lot of social aspects and formalities discomfort me.
By nature, I tend to be a no non-sense “regular”, “average” guy. I try very hard to be “real”. Practical. Some perceive that as “serious” nature. I have a strong tendency to skip aspects of social niceties, and jump straight to the point I honestly want to put across. What that means is – no sweet-talk, no flattery, get-to-the-point kind of behaviour, that doesn’t leave a good impression on people. I’m not a showman. I cannot recite stories or incidents in an interesting manner. I won’t even try. The fact of the matter is, I’m not trying to impress you. You’ll come across many people trying to impress you. I’m not one of them. I tell it like it is; the way I perceive it. Totally uninteresting stories. At home, however, I’m the exact opposite of “practical”. I’m goofy!.
Another peculiar thing about the way I manage relationships is that I seldom pull favours. I don’t ask for favours, unless there’s absolutely no other way in the world to get the task done. I might start a conversation with “I need a favour”, but if you pay attention, you’ll realize that I’m not really asking you for a favour (unless I am!). It might be something petty, and I’d only ask for it if it was convenient for you, or you already owe me a favour. If you’ve done me a favour, I’ll “return the favour” as soon as humanly possible. Favours are excess baggage. I regard them to be very tricky, although others believe it’s included in the social contract they have with the other person. My social contracts are separate from the favours I give or ask. Usually, only the people close to me can pull off big favours from me. My nod to do the favour largely depends on my convenience, my inclination to help the person, and also the list of favours I’ve already done for this person. Every person gets a limited no. of favours, and as soon as someone is spotted asking for more than his/her quota, a mental note is made. That particular relationship then begins fading away. It’s actually happened with a few friends. It’s a fair system.
I guess a very important aspect of being great at relationships is your ability to present your thoughts and ideas. Well, for me, it’s critical for me to be able to impress myself. Anyone else is secondary. I don’t see what’s wrong with being reclusive. Folks who do great socially tend to frown upon people like me; or at least that’s the impression I get. There’s nothing wrong with being shady. I feel those who’re too socially active needlessly subject themselves to a lot of pressure. Sooner or later those social connections will make or break you.
I’m not sure when this solitary style of living will come to and end. For now, it feels great. There just might be a major revamp of social connections on the horizon.
